Xenophons march up the high street

  • Urban strife was everywhere across the ancient world . As the Romans were quelling their servile uprising the Carthaginians were having trouble with their own revolting citizens who didn't appreciate their good fortune at having their homes destroyed and being taken off in chains to serve the needs of the Carthage elites.

    A city had fallen to a revolt and Ronnie Barca dispatched some of his Greek and Gallic mercenaries to restore order.

    The peasants were well organised and well motivated and as the mercenaries entered the city gates they were met with hails of missiles from the Slaves who were keen to guard their newfound freedom. Melees broke out between groups of skirmishers but the Slaves held their ground. The Greek phalanx headed resolutely up the main street followed by the Gauls. They aimed to clear out the mobs at the end of the street and take the treasury whilst the other Gauls and a couple of pachyderms saw off the mobs in the side streets.

    Pelted by slings and arrows and roof tiles the Greeks marched on and defeated the mobs at the end of the street.

    It was at that point that they looked around and realised all their support had retreated. The Gauls had thought the better of braving the barrage of missiles and headed back through the gates and the Mahouts were fully paid up PETA members and inisted on catching all the projectiles aimed at their elephants which led to their untimely demise and the elephants stampeding.

    Truly the Greeks were reenacting Xenophons march, not 10,000 fighting 5000km alone and unsupported across Anatolia but 100 fighting 500 yards up the main street alone and unsupported.

    Despite their efforts the Greeks fell just short of capturing the treasury as night fell.

    Heroic indeed and though ultimately unsuccessful I've no doubt that their efforts will find their way into Penguin Classics at some far flung date in the future.