Hookers Town Tattler reports.
Damn his eyes but Obadiah has since redeemed his reputation by defending a small Lutheran chapel from the French force that only recently shelled a nearby Episcopalian church.
His usual reluctance to engage in any kind of preparation or scouting led him and a small force of Loyalist Rangers to engage an overwhelming force of rebels and French.
Despite suffering horrendous casualties; Mr Johnson and his green troops held up the French long enough to allow the main British force to Mollywhop the rebel force.
Struck in the head by a spent musket ball; Obadiah fell in a faint and was seized by treacherous German troops fighting for the rebels.
The shot merely bruised our hero; and yet the change to his character was as night is to day.
He returned to Loyalist lines a week later disguised as a common strumpet with rebel plans concealed about his person.
It appears he escaped after 'befriending' the female companion of a yet nameless French general.
When the time came for his ecape; it would suffice to say that the ladies' attire proved to small for the intrepid Obadiah. She graciously proffered him the general's weekend apparel before bidding him a fond farewell.
Local band The Deer Lick Wobblers have penned a bawdy ballad to immortalise the great hero.
The only piece of the chorus we can print is the refrain, " Three times in an afternoon sweet Jemma was demanding....Rise up again now Obadiah, for your little fellow's standing.....'
Oh, and there's probably a commission in it.....God save the King!