Orbitals v Scrawpers - In which Scott demonstrates how scrawpy he really is

  • I left them charging all night and they still didn’t perform. I’m not an IT expert. I just tell them how to play. Stupid targeting computer glitch.

    I was confident when they stepped out onto the neodurium, their yellow and rose chassis’ gleaming under the glare of the lights and the crowd. The klaxon sounded and immediately the robots began to work in tandem, Epsilon Orange pushing Jackal out of the way, allowing Delta Green a free strike for the opening two points. Which he missed.

    The robots were pushed around allowing Swagger to swagger through the defence and open up the scoring with a single point. Minor setback, I thought, as Gamma Red went on a smashing spree and Sigma white set himself up for an easy three pointer. Which he missed.

    Bear then began removing the Orbitals from the pitch with a round of exploding 6 smashing that left the robots quite depleted and allowed Lucky to saunter through for another two points.


    This time it was Omega Black’s turn to have a go at a strike, sprinting from the bench and scooping up the ball whilst Gamma Red continued his limp pushing of the Scrawpers, opening up a small gap that allowed Omega Black the freedom to miss another strike for the Orbitals.

    Another. Seriously, the targeting computer was waaay off.

    Fortunately we didn’t have to rely on it again, as after the Scrawpers went 5 up, Delta Green scooped up the ball, and despite 2 cards allowing 2 rerolls, still managed to fall flat on his dumb robot face attempting a simple evade. The ball scattered kindly for the corporation team, and they finished the match with some aplomb, a cool 3-pointer from Lucky that had the crowd both cheering the humans and booing the badly malfunctioning metal twerps.

    They’re still under warranty. A man is coming out to fix them on Tuesday.

    Better lives have been lived in the margins, locked in prisons, and lost on the gallows, than have ever been enshrined in palaces.