Round 2 Fixtures, Results and Match Reports

  • Please see the Schedule thread for coach availability.


    Home teams are listed first.


    Round closes on Sunday March 3rd.


    Moon Town Ratz (Alex) v Punch Suckers (Mike)

    Douglas Valley Darkside (Scott) v Green Bay Hackers (Andy)

    Rotting All-Stars (Dave) v Springfield Sundivers (Alan)

    Swinley Shape Shifters (Rebecca) v Average Joes (Darren)

    Fiends of Excess (Martin) v Heldenhammer Rovers (Adam)


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    Better lives have been lived in the margins, locked in prisons, and lost on the gallows, than have ever been enshrined in palaces.

  • Douglas Valley Darkside 2 - 2 Green Bay Hackers


    A tense and thrilling encounter ends in stalemate, as is the norm for these two teams.


    The first half began with Darkside kicking off. Bigsub Nosepicker, the Hackers' Thrower quickly gathered the ball and headed downfield, both teams quickly adoption formations suited to their play style - The Dark Elves looking to harass and frustrate the Orcs by standing off, while seeking to manoeuvre around the rear, and the Orcs assembling a cage and methodically progressing.


    The Hackers probed forward slowly, hoping to wear down the Darkside to no avail so, taking a leaf out of the Dark Elves playbook, they punched (literally) a hole in the screen and sent their Blitzers into the backfield. Garekk the Nob strayed too close to the sideline and found himself pushed into the crowd by frenzied witch [Witch] while Blocker, Noglet the Mighty, put [1st death] into the morgue.


    Spotting a gap, Nosepicker broke out of the pocket, flicked a quick underarm pass to Blitzer, Atmink the Swift, who ran in for the first score of the match.

    The away fans went wild. So much so that just as the Elf witch [Witch] was about to snatch a kick-off that had strayed to close to her an excitable (and future prospect) fan hurled a rock that caught the she-elf a glancing blow, concussing her until the second half.


    Despite the setback the Elves quickly put their specialist players to good use. As the Orcs spread out a defensive line, wary of being outpaced, the Elves isolated rookie Lineman, Libsham Sheepworrier, stunning him and quickly flooding through the gap with their ball carrier and some cover. Meanwhile the Orcs were left to gape in wonder as [AG5] leapt clean over their defensive line and scampered away into space.


    The Orcs scramble defence was enough to put pressure on [ball carrier] but he show nerves of steel as he released a pass from amongst the throng and, despite Pigink the Strong almost making the interception, the ball was safely caught by [AG5], who strolled in for the equaliser.


    With no time left for an further scoring at the end of the half Nosepicker got in some passing practice, managing his second completion of the night, and possibly more importantly [AG5] was knocked out and wouldn't return for the rest of the match.


    With the Elves receiving the second half kick-off the match became extremely tense. Time after time the Elves utilised their great agility to outmanoeuvre the Orcs, threatening to break away for a second touchdown several times, but each time the Hackers' scramble defence was just enough to pin them down. The Hackers were also managing to whittle away at the Elves numbers with Blockers Lukgot Bigbelly and Maulg Sideboob killing [2nd kill] and injuring [Cas 3].


    Finally figuring out a way to deal with the quick hands of [ball carrier] the Orcs pressured everyone at once before making the block. [ball carrier] tried a shovel pass but [receiver] was unable to catch it and the ball sprang loose.


    As soon as it was free the hobgoblin, [goblin], moved in and gathered the ball up again for the Elves. The Hackers sensed an opportunity, pressured the hobgoblin into a mistake and the ball came loose once more and the Orcs quickly got 4 men around it. Then Orc Blitzer, Piggink Sideacher, had a rush of blood to the head and, ignoring his manager's pleas of "Don't overplay it" made a grab for the ball. In his haste it squirted from his grasp, then bobbled away from Lukgot Bigbelly, and then away from Dark Elf [name] to finally fall at the feet of [2nd TD scorer]. The Hackers' manager a fans hung their heads in disbelief at the outrageous turn of fortune and collectively sighed as [2nd TD scorer] casually picked the ball up and trotted over the line.


    2-1 down with just 2 drives left, it was going to take something mighty special from the Hackers and, true to their late game form, they duly obliged.


    The Elves were only able to field 9 players at the kick-off so there was space to exploit, and the kick itself bounced kindly for the Orcs allowing Nosepicker to gather it quickly and head downfield immediately. Meanwhile Orc flying machine, Atmink the Swift, and 4th round draft pick, Selena Kyle, stormed downfield with additional cover from pacy Lineman, Rotfin bumscratcher.


    The Elves flooded to the right flank to cover off the advancing Orcs, ensuring no passage was possible, except at long odds.


    Kyle cleared away the marking Elf lineman, opening the way for Nosepicker to move into the Elves half and make a short pass to Atmink the Swift, who caught the ball at the second attempt. It was all down to him now, and there would be no more second chances.


    With the way ahead blocked he made for the sideline, dodging away from an Elf lineman in the process. The Elf Witch had the sideline covered and would surely tackle him if he tried to dodge passed, so instead he went right at her for a one on one block. While not managing to knock her down he pushed her aside and charged towards the end zone. As he sprinted across the line the crowd held their breath, wondering if fate would be so cruel as to deny him now, but he kept his feet to score right on the final whistle.


    While the Orcs and the Dark Elves rued their misfortune at moments throughout the match I suspect that, in the cold light of day, both teams will regard a draw as a fair result. Certainly it was another fine spectacle for the fans.